


Five Times John Adams Hated his Job

by danteasers



Series: John Adams: An Odyssey [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/F, F/M, Hamilton - Freeform, Humor, I laughed the entire time, I swear, Implied Sexual Content, John Adams drinks too much 2k16, John Adams is done, M/M, So sexual, Suggestive, This is for you garlic girl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 06:42:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7498110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danteasers/pseuds/danteasers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Adams is so, so unlucky when it comes to these situations. </p><p>Aka, Stop Fucking on The President's Desk 2K16™</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times John Adams Hated his Job

        Vice President John Adams was a reasonable man when it came to reasonable things. This, however,  was unacceptable. This week had been a complete nightmare, and he wanted to forget everything he had seen.   
This utter lack of regard for authority angered him immensely. How could they disrespect the desk that belonged to the leader of the free world?  

 _Apparently quite easily._ John thought to himself.

~

      This outrageous refusal to show any respect had started just this Monday... he had a meeting scheduled with Washington at precisely 11:00 Am. John was always on time; he prided himself for his punctuality.   
George's office was just down the hallway, and he could hear some rather strange... moaning sounds.... coming from it. John sighed. 

"George, did you accidentally staple your hand to the papers that the ambassador of France gave you? AGAIN?" 

He just heard more moaning in reply. John began to open the door. "I swear to god, if we have to rewrite those papers because you got blood all over them again, I will-" 

Well, what he saw was certainly _not_ the President of the United States bleeding freely onto the international negotiations. It was so,so, so much worse. 

John Laurens and Secretary Hamilton were sitting half-naked on the President's desk, official, IMPORTANT papers scattered around them, frozen in shock. 

John Adams had never been so outraged in his life. And this incident is competing with the time when he reinacted the entire Titanic movie while drunk. As Rose. 

Alexander was the first to react. "If you tell Washington about this, I will actually eviscerate you. He banned us from having sex in the spare bedroom, but he didn't technically say we couldn't do it in here..."   
   
Now, in all of John Adams' years of working here, he had never seen ANYTHING like this. How DARE they. However, John was also a strong believer in second chances. He sighed.

"I am going to walk out of this  room and pretend that I did not see this. I was never here."  John turned on his heel, shuddering at the thought of Alexander and that _turtle boy_ doing dirty things on the president's desk.

~

The next incident was a week later, a Tuesday, when he needed to find George to sign a paper he had. John usually didn't make surprise appearances at the President's office, but today was a special exception. John, of course, was not expecting to find anyone but the president in the office, so he breezed in, not noticing the thumping noise.

John froze again. _You're kidding me._ He thought.

Eliza Schuyler's head popped up from behind the desk, and he could hear Maria Reynolds' laugh below her. Eliza smiled. "Oh, John, it's just you. I thought it was Washington." 

John was shell-shocked. Maria had stood up, completely naked. John tried to avoid looking at her. "Say no to this, John." Maria said with a wink. He fled the room, hearing the girls howling in the distance. "Did you see his face!?" He heard one of them shout. 

John was much, much more careful when walking in to the president's office now, thank you very much. The next few days passed without incident, and he began to relax. 

~

That, evidently was not the best plan. The president had sent him to fetch some important documents, and without thought, he walked into the room. Senator Burr and his girlfriend Theodosia were both in various states of undress, and Adams was ready to smack his head in to a wall. 

Aaron Burr, ever the brave one, screamed loudly, covering himself in an attempt to salvage his digniy, while Theodosia laughed hysterically.  "Want to join in, John?" 

"No, thank you." Adams said icily.

"Oh well," Theodosia shrugged, "Your loss." Aaron rolled his eyes.

John was seriously contemplating taping them to the wall, butt naked, for Washington to see. 

Instead, like the mature gentleman he was, he just went to a bar and ordered an inordinate amount of alcohol. 

~

John had began carrying duct tape and a sheet with him whenever he went in to George's office. He had seen nothing out of the ordinary the past few times he had gone in, but was not taking any chances.

Of course, John's poor brain was not to escape this torture, and he pulled the door open to see James Madison standing behind the desk, and Jefferson's telltale curls peeking out from behind the desk. 

Thomas, always the frank one, popped his head up. "Hullo John! Just sucking James' dick here, you can leave if you want."  John Adams wanted nothing more than the ability to leave, but he decided to yell at them instead. 

"ARE YOU TWO FUCKING KIDDING ME?" 

James, with a neutral expression, turned to him. "We are fucking, but we're not kidding you." 

John wanted to throttle them. "HOW THE HELL CAN YOU SAY THAT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE?" 

"Oh Mr. Adams, there is absolutely nothing straight about this." Jefferson said with a grin.  He reached up to high-five the other Virgininan.  "Now if you'll excuse us, I really have to finish giving Mr. Madison a blowjob. Do you mind?" 

John stormed out, absolutely furious. Even the insufferable Thomas Jefferson was getting some. He wasn't sure if he was sexually frustrated or just pissed off. 

~

The next week held the breaking point for John.

He had stopped caring, but instead of just walking in to George's office, he would fling open the door, and scream "I'M HERE!" every time he decided to visit.           

Late on Thursday, when John stormed in to the room, he heard a giggle and thump. His bets were on Alex and John going at it again. 

Instead he saw the one person he never thought would dream of having _sexual intercourse_ on the international papers. He would have preferred the bleeding.

George Washington himself, and the blushing French ambassador, were going at it on the desk. 

"What are you two? Teenagers?" John said abruptly, interrupting them with the thump of a large book on the mahogany desk. 

George turned bright red, attempting to cover himself with some official papers from the French embassy.

"Not so fast, buddy." John said, grabbing the paper, his hand getting dangerously close to the President's dick. His cheeks flushed. 

"At least this is the only time we've been caught, _oui, mon amor?"_ Lafayette said. 

John stared for a second, and simply walked out. This meant war. Revenge was obligatory. So was alchohol.

**Author's Note:**

> this was WAY TOO FUN TO WRITe HELP  
> also if you want a sequel you should hit me up  
> you could witness The Revenge Of John Adams™  
> come sin wit me on tumblr: suburban-snake.tumblr.com


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